I Begin Here

My Path To Self Discovery, & Everything In-Between

Tag: wellbeing

Yoga and 100 Squats A Day Challenge!

I’ve been pretty slack on the workout/exercise front for lots of reason/excuses. Which to be honest I’ve been fine with. But now that the nicer weather is approaching and we have had some lovely hot days, I have found that none of my summer stuff from last year fits!

Lose Weight Or Buy Bigger Clothes…

So I’m left with the choice that I either lose weight or I just buy bigger clothes, which I can’t really afford to do. So I need to lose the weight.

But I need to be realistic, I am unfit and not exercised regularly for about a year. I need something that I can fit in around preschool runs, looking after a 16-month-old and working evening and housework.

Why Yoga?

I love yoga and back in my youth of late teens and early 20’s I use to practice yoga every day. It kept my weight down, I had energy and was supple. Back then I had a really good/healthy relationship with my body and had tones of confidence, and I never had any issues with my mental health. I just had an all round contentment with myself.

100 Squats A Day Challenge?

This came about because my husband decided on Monday that he would do the 100 push ups a day challenge that has been floating around the internet. I’m rubbish a push up’s so there was no way I was going to do that. But I want to do a challenge with him to help support him. So I decided I would do squats. I love doing them and I love doing deep squats. They’re not easy but I love them and there are so many benefits to them.

Top 10 Benefits of Yoga…

  1. Flexibility is improved
  2. Mental health is improved
  3. Posture is improved
  4. Muscle strength is improved/enhanced
  5. The risk of chronic diseases is reduced
  6. Blood flow is improved
  7. Provides a foundation for a healthier lifestyle
  8. It can help ease pain
  9. Balance is improved
  10. It can help you focus the mind

These are just some of the benefits that I found online, but the list doesn’t stop there.

Top 10 Benefits of Squats…

  1. Burns more fat
  2. Can improve circulation helping to reduce cellulite
  3. Flexibility is improved
  4. It is a functional exercise
  5. Core strength is improved
  6. Squats can tone your Legs, Bum, and tum
  7. They help to remove waste from the body
  8. It can help maintain mobility and balance
  9. They can be done anywhere without any equipment
  10. Posture is improved

Again these are just some of the benefits I found online, but the list goes on. So it is this simple…

I’m fed up with looking in the mirror and not liking what I see, therefore I want to get back into practicing Yoga and I want to take on this Squat challenge and see what happens.

Being A Role Model For My Daughter…

Since having my daughter I am very aware that as she grows up she will look up to me and that I am her role model. She will grow up in a world of social media and in a world where women are criticised for the way they look. So I want her to have a healthy relationship with herself and her body. I want her to love what she see’s in the mirror.

If I can instill in her that working out is fun and a way to reward your body then I’ll feel like I have passed something valuable on to her. I don’t want her to feel like I do right now, I don’t want that for her.

So With That Being Said…

I’m going to leave you with my before photos. This is how I look right now…It’s not great but it’s me.

Let’s see what happens…

If you want to get in touch then please leave a comment below or get in touch via social media. If you aren’t subscribed to my blog already then get signed up so you don’t miss any post’s. Please also Share. Sharing is caring.

Sam.

 

 

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What Does Self-Care Mean To Me?

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media about self-care and mental health. So I wanted to sit down and think about what that means to me. Years ago if I asked myself what self-care meant to me, I probably would’ve said that it was about ‘Me Time’. Having a soak in the bath or painting my nails.

But Now…

It means so much more than that to me. While self is still about those things, I now have a deeper understanding that Self-care is also about your wellbeing you mental and emotional health, your physical health.

I Had To Learn The Hard Way…

For me being diagnosed with Depression was a wake-up call. I had to look after myself. I’ve always been good at looking after my husband and the kids. I always put them first and I always will. But now I know that I HAVE TO put time aside for myself, to look after myself. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have it all figured out yet and I’m still trying to look after myself. But I am doing a much better job of it.

So How Am I Going To Do This?…

Through lots of self-reflecting and taking stock of my life and my attitude to myself. I’m changing how I approach things. For example:- I used to feel guilty if I had a takeaway or something sweet. While I’d enjoy it at the time I would come down on myself for allowing…Well no more, Life is too short to be angry especially at your self so I will enjoy life’s treats. But I also know that in turn, I need to look after myself physically, which means working out and making it a part of my routine. No more excuses ( I am planning on doing a separate post about this but not sure when as I’m currently full of cold). I need to look after myself physically so that I am fit and healthy to be able to enjoy time with my children and to make sure I am around for them for a long time to come.

But What About Mental And Emotional Health?…

My mental and emotional health have taken a battering for several months. For months I have been trying to get these back on track. I also know it will be something that I will need to work on for the rest of my life. But I’m happy with that. I have been so mean to myself for years that I just need to accept who I am and accept my body has changed after having two children, to love myself completely. Last night for the first time I tried the Headspace app. I can honestly say, it is the best meditation app that I have tried. I hoping that this will become part of my evening/bedtime routine. It really helped me to clear my mind. Which is a problem I have, I let things build up in my head until there’s no room and it bubbles over with negative results. But I talk a lot more to my husband about how I’m feeling whether it is a good day or a bad day. I don’t let myself feel guilty if I need to have a good cry or even a good laugh because both are good for me they keep the balance.

 I Shared this image recently on Instagram. I’m putting it in this post because when I look at it, I see a woman who is happy in her skin. Who feels comfortable taking a picture with only mascara and brow gel on and no filter on it. THIS IS ME! getting my self-esteem back and loving myself.

Ask Yourself…

What does self-care mean to you? How have you pulled yourself back up from the depths of depression? How do you show yourself, love?

If you want to get in touch then please leave a comment below or get in touch via social media. If you aren’t subscribed to my blog already then get signed up so you don’t miss any post’s. Please also Share. Sharing is caring.

Sam.

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Learning To Be Positive Again And Moving Forward!

I recently shared with you all that I have been dealing with depression, and that I have recently completed my therapy.

How Therapy Helped…

Therapy really helped me to understand, that everything I was putting off doing or didn’t feel capable of doing was in fact just in my head. It helped to understand that by putting a plan in place and starting off with small jobs, then it wasn’t so daunting. Since then I have progressed to doing bigger tasks. I’m still not fully back to my old routine but I’m getting there.

Positivity Breeds Positivity…

With the help of therapy and the help of my antidepressants my positivity towards life and everything in between has come on in leaps and bounds.

I’m a natural worrier and have had anxiety for the 10 years or so. But lately the last month or so I have been feeling so great. I haven’t had a panic attack or anxiety attack since the end of last year. It really makes me feel good. I feel like I am capable and more like my old self, I don’t feel guilty for no reason I more chilled out and it has inturned improved things between Myself and Matt.

Making Changes One Day At A Time…

While Things are going great I’m still on antidepressant’s and will be for another 3 months-ish. I’m very much aware that While I’m currently in a good place the depression could come back at any time. So I take it one day at a time. I try to do a few jobs each day around the house but if it’s not a great day for whatever the reason. Whether it is the children or I’ve had a bad night sleep etc. I don’t stress about it. I just remind myself that tomorrow is another day and another opportunity for me to try again.

One of the changes that I want to build back into my routine is exercise. This has always really helped with my mental health in the past. For me, it’s a great way to release frustration and stress and allows me to clear my head of thoughts. Don’t get me wrong I’m not claiming to be a fitness fanatic, but once I get into the routine of doing it I enjoy it.

I have also upped my water intake. But still not where I want it to be. But one day at a time, right?

My diet still needs some major improvements but it is better than it has been, there haven’t been as many takeaways, but there are still probably a few too many. I know I will get there it’s just going to take some time and patience.

Moving Forward…

I know I’ll never be 100% the same person I was 10+ years ago but I am definitely on my way to becoming more like my old self. I feel like I have been given the tools to recognize the warning signs and how to deal with it and what I need to do to maintain the positivity. Don’t get me wrong I know it’s not going to be easy every day, and some days will be a lot harder than others. But what I have learned is how I deal with things and how I choose to look at my life and the situations I’m faced with in my day to day life.

Please feel free to get in touch either below in the comments or via Social Media. Please follow the blog if you enjoyed the post and don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out on future post’s.

Sam

 

 

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Admitting I Needed Help…. My Depression

I Needed To Take a Break…

It’s been a while since I posted anything on here. I needed to take a break, to step back from everything and look after myself. Over the last few months, I have been dealing with severe depression and have been getting help in the form of CBT therapy and antidepressants.

The Stigma…

To be honest I’m not entirely sure how I feel about sharing my story, my experience with the internet world. But I have to ask myself is it because there is a stigma with depression, that it’s seen as an ugly word that shouldn’t be spoken about. Or because I’m scared of what people will think. The thing is, we/I shouldn’t care. This is my life and my mental health, and if talking about it helps me, or someone else then great.

Where To Start?…

I want to be honest, I have no clue where to start, I feel anxious and emotional at the thought of sharing my experience with depression. As I’m sat here I keep wanting to delete everything, to hide the truth, BUT I need to do this. I NEED to do this for me. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning.

9th November 2017…

This is the day I got help… I few days before this, I got home one evening from work and found Matt confronting me. Being brutally honest with me about my behavior over the last several months. He pointed out how my behavior had started to affect the kids that they were noticing. Mine and Matt’s relationship was in a bad place. I had raging temper tantrums. I wasn’t myself. The way I screamed and shouted at everyone including the kids, it was awful. I was awful and looking back I feel ashamed of myself. I hope the kids are young enough not to remember the dark period in my life when they are older. There I sat in tears listening to Matt, knowing everything he was saying was true, I was ill and I NEEDED help.

While I knew I needed help I was scared and my anxiety was through the roof. I was scared of admitting to anyone that wasn’t myself or Matt. Getting help and telling someone I needed help would make it real and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.

The Doctors office…

I sat in the Doctors office with Matt scared and panicked. I started to speak and the tears came and came. As I sat there crying my eyes out Matt took the lead. As he started to explain I felt calm enough to stop crying and then I found my strength to speak.

We discussed therapy and medication and I’ll admit medication wasn’t something I was that keen on so I left the Doctors office with a couple of numbers for a self referral. I knew that everything had changed.

Antidepressants…

Two weeks later I was on the phone again in tears, struggling to cope, I was on a waiting list for CBT and was told it could be 3 months. My behavior was getting worse so I told the Dr that I wanted to get on medication to help get me through. So I’m currently on 20mg Citalopram a day and that has helped me no end.

Behavioural Activation Therapy…

After I started the medication I started to receive my therapy in the form of Behavioural Activation Therapy designed to get you back on track and back to your old routine. Its aim is to ease you back into everything slowly.

I have to say I found this type of therapy really helpful and combined with the medication I took to it like a duck to water so to speak. So much so I was discharged after 3 sessions.

I’m still getting back into my old routine but I am making progress.

What Depression Felt Like For Me…

Depression feels different for everyone who suffers from it. And for those who have never had depression cannot understand how it feels you just can’t simply snap out of it.

For me Depression felt like I had these heavy chain weighing my body down, pulling me down. It felt like I was in another existence/ alternate side of the world. Where I could see everyone living their life going about their business and I was there watching on invisible and lonely. Everything felt dark around me and any slight bit of happiness I instantly felt guilty and withdrew more.

I wasn’t sleeping well and I was overeating. I could only find joy in my children but felt guilty. They kept me functioning.

Today…

Today I’m in a better place a happier place. Don’t get me wrong I have low days but I don’t feel weighed down and I no longer feel like I’m in the dark. I see light around me and I don’t feel invisible. I feel connected to the world around me.

Have you ever suffered from depression? Are you suffering from depression? If you want to get in touch I’d love to hear from you.

Please share my story/ experience with the people you know. Mental health is a huge thing and we need to talk about it more openly. You’d be surprised by how many people suffer in silence.

Until next time

Sam

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Love Thy Self

When I was younger I was very self-confident. I loved my body and myself and all that entailed. There wasn’t a part of me that I disliked. However, as I have got older and certainly since I have had my two children I can’t stand the sight of myself in the mirror. What an Incredibly sad thing to admit!

I Feel Like My Body Has Failed Me…

This isn’t something I like to admit to myself let alone anyone else. My body has been through so much these last 5 years that it really is a miracle that I write this with 2 beautiful children to call my own.

I feel like it has failed me because I had to go through two painful pregnancy losses to get there. One of which almost cost me my life. For this, I feel like it has failed me. I know this is a stupid thought but anyone who has been through the same experience would/will probably feel the same. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my body and what I can do. I know there are people in the world that would do anything for my body, for their body to be able to move the way my body can. To be able to breathe by themselves and not with the help of a machine.

I Must Make A Change….

Since I had my daughter I have become very aware of how I talk about myself and what she will grow up hearing. Every girl should have a role model, someone, to look up to and I want to be Rae’s. She will grow up in a would of Social Media and Body Shaming and I don’t want her to feel about her body and self-image like I do about mine. (I have a separate post coming up about being Rae’s role model so keep your eyes open for that one.)

For me making a change isn’t just a mental change, although for me combatting the mental side will help massively but it is also a physical change. When my Father-in-law died both myself and my husband both said we wanted to get fit and healthy, Which we did, we jumped in head first. However, once I went back to work and Logan started pre-school 4 days a week, it became harder to work out. Until not working out became the new normal again. I have a week off in which I want to get back in the habit of working out. Whether that be morning/evening or during the day while Logan is at preschool.

I want to reward my body with feeling good inside and out, making time to work out and get the feel-good hormones flowing. I’m not saying it will be easy or that I won’t have any setbacks. What is important is that I keep working at it and don’t give up.

I’m tired of hating my body and myself. It is time to start loving myself and accepting that having children has changed my body and that’s ok. I need to Love my new body and what it has given me.

This was Pre-Children.

This is Post Children

There aren’t many post children photos of me and my body.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts.

If you would like to get in touch please do you can via the Comments below and on social media.

Sam

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Getting Out Of My Head:- Anxiety And Panic Attacks!

I’ve always been open and honest about suffering from Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Unfortunately is it not a topic that is talked about enough, this is also true for all mental health issues. But I want to talk about Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

I Didn’t Always Suffer…

I didn’t always suffer from Anxiety or Panic Attacks. It started around 2008/2009 with my previous relationship. I didn’t realise it at the time but the relationship I was in was a toxic one, one of mental abuse. At the time I didn’t see it, but when I look back I can see I was mentally abused.

My first Panic Attack was bad. My hands flooded with pins and needles and went rigid in a claw like shape. I felt dizzy and couldn’t breathe.

Since then I have only had one really bad attack when I ended up in the back of an ambulance because they weren’t sure if it was a stroke or heart attack because of my symptoms, the whole left side of my body shook uncontrollably, my speech was slurred and I couldn’t hold myself up.

Anxiety grows worse…

My Anxiety has got worse over the last few years especially since my Ectopic pregnancy, it has taken a natural worrier and has turned me into a fearful person who wants/needs to be in control to keep fear at bay. I hate this about myself, I hate that some days my anxiety controls me instead of me controlling it. Anxiety and fear have stopped me from doing things. I want to let go and be free to really enjoy the great things in life but it’s there all the time in the back of my mind.

Since having my daughter and there being more stresses at home with various things. I’m sure everyone stresses about things like money, our home is too small and not having money to move. Add to that the lack of sleep from a toddler who doesn’t always go through the night and a baby teething. All of this plays a part in my Anxiety. I don’t want you to sit there and think that I’m moaning about my life and that I should be grateful because there are people worse off. That’s not what I’m doing. I’m simply sharing what has helped to make my anxiety worse.

What Are My Triggers…

I can’t speak for everyone who suffers from Anxiety and Panic Attacks but I know what my triggers are. Some times  I am able to gain control and other times I can’t.

For me, one of my main triggers is feeling overwhelmed, and it can be about anything going on in my life. for me the only way I can describe it is like there is a fog or a storm going on inside my mind. Sometimes I have to get out of my head to beat it.

It’s Getting Harder And Harder To Control…

Over the last few weeks, I have been finding that my Anxiety is getting harder to control. Even writing this post, bearing my soul, if you like, is giving me Anxiety. It’s an incredibly personal thing to share, unfortunately, it is something that people who do not suffer from it find hard to understand and think it is an easy fix. It is not!

It’s An Uncomfortable Place To Be…

Where I am mentally at the moment is a rather uncomfortable place to be. When I look at myself and into my mind, I feel uncomfortable I feel a need to question my mental health and whether I am at a place where I need help. I have to say this part of the blog is very difficult to write. It’s emotional, it is taking a lot for me to be this honest and to lay this much out on the line. But this is in the hope of self-therapy. In the hope that writing about it and talking about it on the World Wide Web can provide a release. A weight lifted. I don;t know maybe help other people and myself not feel alone.

My husband tries to be understanding and helpful and for the most part, he is. He is a fantastic support and I’m certain if it wasn’t for him I would have a lot more Panic Attacks and be in the depths of depression by now. But there is only so much he is able to do. It ultimately falls on me.

So What Helps…

For me, there are some things that do help, Exercise being one of them. I’m not great at keeping a routine especially with two young children but I am trying. I have found Yoga helps to focus my mind. I know that sounds like a cliché, but it really does help. I love running/walking that for me is a kind of therapy with myself. It forces me to think about/process everything I have not wanted to deal with and just pushed to the back of my mind. I also find Reading a good book helps to take me away from reality and escape for a while. I like to do this before bed. It helps to relax my mind and let me drift off to sleep quicker.

I’m sorry for the long post but it is one of those topics that needs discussing.

If you suffer or suffered from Anxiety please get in touch I would love to hear your story and how you deal with it. please get in touch via the comments or social media.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts. I’m sure I will post an update with how I’m doing.

Sam

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Pregnancy Losses: 5 Years On I’m Still Affected By It! 

This month marks the 5 year anniversary from my first pregnancy loss, an ectopic pregnancy misdiagnosed as a miscarriage that then ruptured, resulting in internal bleeding and emergency surgery. 8 months later I had a miscarriage. The result of these pregnancy losses still affects me greatly.

Mental And Emotional Pain Is Real….

I find it harder to talk about now then I did at the time. It took a week for the ectopic pregnancy and my near death to hit me. To say I was a wreck is an understatement, I thought that was it for kids. I found talking to anyone who’d listen helped. I read about it, watched videos about it and started researching my chance of having kids and alternatives. It was the only way I could deal with it. However talking about it now is painful, more because it is a part of my life that isn’t great. It’s like a black cloud in my mind, in my memory. A memory I don’t want to remember but one that I must.

Pregnant For A Second Time…

After the ectopic pregnancy, it took my body a while to adjust to having my right tube moved, the pregnancy had ripped it open causing severe internal bleeding. A month or so later after the operation, I felt ready to try again.

I remember knowing I was pregnant but had doubt in my mind, we had few a false alarm’s due to my body adjusting. But when the test showed positive I dropped to the floor shaking a remember sending my husband a photo asking him if I was imaging it. I was so scared that I would lose the baby I couldn’t enjoy it.

It’s Happening Again…

I remember hitting the 8-9 week mark and the bleeding starting again. My heart sank I knew I was losing the baby. We had an early scan, it showed the baby in the womb and had a heartbeat, however it was measuring small. All we could do was wait and see. The pain is still there in my mind, the waves of pain and so much blood. My body trying to expel the fetus. The trip to A&E meant they removed it for me and gave me strong painkillers I was then sent on my way.

Was It Me Or Just Bad Luck…

My husband says we were just incredibly unlucky, he said for a while that maybe we couldn’t have girls. After the second miscarriage, I blamed myself more than ever, I still do. I will never know if I was the reason for the losses or if it was just bad luck and I happened to be the 1 in 4 for the miscarriage and the 1 in 80-90 with the ectopic.

There isn’t a day, week, or month that goes by where I don’t think about them. Sat here writing this I fight to hold back the tears. With each loss, I definitely lost a piece of myself. I don’t have the same carefree spirit I once had, much of my “sparkle” has gone. My anxiety is much worse and over more things, simple things. It is a constant battle and one that I try to manage without medication because that is not a path I wish to walk down.

If I’m being totally honest I try to hide my anxiety or had bad it is some days from the people I love because it’s how I best deal with it. I don’t want it to be another thing for my husband to worry about. He is my rock, we have shared some insanely hard times together and we’ve always come out the other side stronger.

I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Be Over It…

Everyone deals with pregnancy loss in their own way, for me, it isn’t something I’ll ever be over. They were a part of me and their gone. I know I am incredibly lucky to have 2 beautiful healthy happy children now. Logan, My rainbow baby turned 3 last month and Rae my Baby girl whose almost 7 months old.

I’m still 5 years on trying to figure out how to process dealing with it. Most of the time I bury it in the back of my mind. But I am hoping one day I will find it easier to talk openly about it again.

It is a subject that is not talked about enough and one that should be. Know this where pregnancy loss is concerned, you ARE NEVER alone. Ever!

If you have suffered a pregnancy loss and just want an ear, Then I am here.

Sam

 

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I’m Not Comfortable With My Post Baby Body!

I’m not comfortable with my post baby body and that’s really sad. My body has achieved such an incredible task, twice. My body has been through a lot over last 5 years. It has been through emergency surgery to remove my right fallopian tube and stop internal bleeding. It has been through a miscarriage, it has been through an emergency C-Section to deliver my son and it has been through a VBAC to bring my daughter into the world.

It’s Amazing…

My Body is amazing for what it has been through and I do believe what doesn’t kill makes you stronger. But I hate how it looks, I know that is really shallow but I do I hate it.

I Want To Love My Body But I Can’t…

I really do want to love my body but I can’t, I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t see a body that I love or even like. What really upset’s me is that I now have a daughter, a daughter that I don’t want to grow up hating her body or to have any hang ups. But I can I teach her to love herself and her body if I can’t love mine?

I’m Doing It For Myself, My Husband And My Kids…

I’m forever reading that if you’re going to get fit and healthy then you shouldn’t do it for anyone else but yourself. Well not me I’m doing it for myself, my husband and my kids. Because I want to be around for a long time. My body is over weight by about 4 stone. So I want to get fit and healthy and hopefully, in the process learn to love my body. The area I hate the most is my midsection, my mummy tummy, my jelly belly. I don’t know who came up with these names but they have a lot to answer for.

I’m Taking It One Step At A Time…

I’m taking the whole process one step at a time, I’m making changes, Slow steady changes that I can build into my everyday life. My Diet is much better than it has been. Yes, I still slip up but I’m human and life is way to short to eat like a rabbit all day every day. Plus I love food way too much.

As for exercise, I’m getting back into it again slowly. With my Son’s 3rd birthday at the beginning of June and a weekend away after that to Cardiff. I fell out of the habit. But yesterday I did a kettlebell workout, the first in about 4 weeks.

Coming Soon…

To help keep me motivated and on the get fit and healthy waggon I am going to start a little series documenting my progress. So please make sure you sign up so that you don’t miss a post.

This is me on my honeymoon in Turkey September 2011. Here I weighed around 10 Stone

This is me Pregnant with Rae, I was about 36 weeks pregnant. Exactly one month before Rae was born

This is me 4 weeks ago and yesterday. I was expecting it to be worse with birthday food and no exercise, but you can see my tummy has pulled in a bit.

 

So with that, all I will say is subscribe and watch this space.

Sam

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I Lost The Old Me Somewhere Along The Way!

I’m a very different person to the young woman, the old me I was 8years ago. My husband and I have known each other since we were 11 but we didn’t start dating till 2009. We had been friends and our relationship had developed from there.

Fun Loving…

One of the things my husband loved about me back then was that I was so fun loving, up for a laugh and enjoyed taking the mickey as much as he did. He used to say I was the female version of him. Over the years I have slowly lost myself. No, this is not because of my husband but more because of events that have happened in the last 8 years. In the space of a couple of years, I had an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in it rupturing, and losing my right tube and receiving a blood transfusion. This was followed by a miscarriage.

Finally…

After the miscarriage, I finally got pregnant with my son. However, the two previous pregnancy losses had had a profound effect on me. I took them quite badly and blamed myself a lot for the losses. At the time I could talk about them to a certain degree but now I find that time in my life quite painful and difficult to talk about. My pregnancies with my son and daughter were filled with anxiety and worry for the first 12 weeks. But this quickly changed. With the exception of my pregnancy with Rae which had complications for a while.

A Natural Worrier…

I’ve always been a natural worrier but it has been worse lately as has my anxiety. It’s something that I struggle with on a regular basis. I find it crops up at time’s when I use to be confident and out-going. But lately, I’m more stressed out and anxious. Some days I feel like I’m a shell of the old me.

Self-Body Image…

I’ve never been a regular fitness junkie or conscious healthy eater but I never had a bad figure. I was a healthy size 10-12, I loved wearing makeup, I wore it every day whether I was going out or not. My hair was my thing, it had to be perfect. But as I have got older and had Kid’s I don’t care about them as much. I think it’s from not having the same time I use to have and also not caring what everyone else thinks.

However, I also think being this way has also played part in myself not being happy with how I look. Baby weight, short hair that while is quick and easy is contributing to how I feel. These are things I want to change and am in the process of changing.

To End…

I am a work in progress and I hope I can find my way back to the old me and be happier.

 

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