I Begin Here

My Path To Self Discovery, & Everything In-Between

Tag: Self-Body Image

Yoga and 100 Squats A Day Challenge!

I’ve been pretty slack on the workout/exercise front for lots of reason/excuses. Which to be honest I’ve been fine with. But now that the nicer weather is approaching and we have had some lovely hot days, I have found that none of my summer stuff from last year fits!

Lose Weight Or Buy Bigger Clothes…

So I’m left with the choice that I either lose weight or I just buy bigger clothes, which I can’t really afford to do. So I need to lose the weight.

But I need to be realistic, I am unfit and not exercised regularly for about a year. I need something that I can fit in around preschool runs, looking after a 16-month-old and working evening and housework.

Why Yoga?

I love yoga and back in my youth of late teens and early 20’s I use to practice yoga every day. It kept my weight down, I had energy and was supple. Back then I had a really good/healthy relationship with my body and had tones of confidence, and I never had any issues with my mental health. I just had an all round contentment with myself.

100 Squats A Day Challenge?

This came about because my husband decided on Monday that he would do the 100 push ups a day challenge that has been floating around the internet. I’m rubbish a push up’s so there was no way I was going to do that. But I want to do a challenge with him to help support him. So I decided I would do squats. I love doing them and I love doing deep squats. They’re not easy but I love them and there are so many benefits to them.

Top 10 Benefits of Yoga…

  1. Flexibility is improved
  2. Mental health is improved
  3. Posture is improved
  4. Muscle strength is improved/enhanced
  5. The risk of chronic diseases is reduced
  6. Blood flow is improved
  7. Provides a foundation for a healthier lifestyle
  8. It can help ease pain
  9. Balance is improved
  10. It can help you focus the mind

These are just some of the benefits that I found online, but the list doesn’t stop there.

Top 10 Benefits of Squats…

  1. Burns more fat
  2. Can improve circulation helping to reduce cellulite
  3. Flexibility is improved
  4. It is a functional exercise
  5. Core strength is improved
  6. Squats can tone your Legs, Bum, and tum
  7. They help to remove waste from the body
  8. It can help maintain mobility and balance
  9. They can be done anywhere without any equipment
  10. Posture is improved

Again these are just some of the benefits I found online, but the list goes on. So it is this simple…

I’m fed up with looking in the mirror and not liking what I see, therefore I want to get back into practicing Yoga and I want to take on this Squat challenge and see what happens.

Being A Role Model For My Daughter…

Since having my daughter I am very aware that as she grows up she will look up to me and that I am her role model. She will grow up in a world of social media and in a world where women are criticised for the way they look. So I want her to have a healthy relationship with herself and her body. I want her to love what she see’s in the mirror.

If I can instill in her that working out is fun and a way to reward your body then I’ll feel like I have passed something valuable on to her. I don’t want her to feel like I do right now, I don’t want that for her.

So With That Being Said…

I’m going to leave you with my before photos. This is how I look right now…It’s not great but it’s me.

Let’s see what happens…

If you want to get in touch then please leave a comment below or get in touch via social media. If you aren’t subscribed to my blog already then get signed up so you don’t miss any post’s. Please also Share. Sharing is caring.

Sam.

 

 

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What Does Self-Care Mean To Me?

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media about self-care and mental health. So I wanted to sit down and think about what that means to me. Years ago if I asked myself what self-care meant to me, I probably would’ve said that it was about ‘Me Time’. Having a soak in the bath or painting my nails.

But Now…

It means so much more than that to me. While self is still about those things, I now have a deeper understanding that Self-care is also about your wellbeing you mental and emotional health, your physical health.

I Had To Learn The Hard Way…

For me being diagnosed with Depression was a wake-up call. I had to look after myself. I’ve always been good at looking after my husband and the kids. I always put them first and I always will. But now I know that I HAVE TO put time aside for myself, to look after myself. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have it all figured out yet and I’m still trying to look after myself. But I am doing a much better job of it.

So How Am I Going To Do This?…

Through lots of self-reflecting and taking stock of my life and my attitude to myself. I’m changing how I approach things. For example:- I used to feel guilty if I had a takeaway or something sweet. While I’d enjoy it at the time I would come down on myself for allowing…Well no more, Life is too short to be angry especially at your self so I will enjoy life’s treats. But I also know that in turn, I need to look after myself physically, which means working out and making it a part of my routine. No more excuses ( I am planning on doing a separate post about this but not sure when as I’m currently full of cold). I need to look after myself physically so that I am fit and healthy to be able to enjoy time with my children and to make sure I am around for them for a long time to come.

But What About Mental And Emotional Health?…

My mental and emotional health have taken a battering for several months. For months I have been trying to get these back on track. I also know it will be something that I will need to work on for the rest of my life. But I’m happy with that. I have been so mean to myself for years that I just need to accept who I am and accept my body has changed after having two children, to love myself completely. Last night for the first time I tried the Headspace app. I can honestly say, it is the best meditation app that I have tried. I hoping that this will become part of my evening/bedtime routine. It really helped me to clear my mind. Which is a problem I have, I let things build up in my head until there’s no room and it bubbles over with negative results. But I talk a lot more to my husband about how I’m feeling whether it is a good day or a bad day. I don’t let myself feel guilty if I need to have a good cry or even a good laugh because both are good for me they keep the balance.

 I Shared this image recently on Instagram. I’m putting it in this post because when I look at it, I see a woman who is happy in her skin. Who feels comfortable taking a picture with only mascara and brow gel on and no filter on it. THIS IS ME! getting my self-esteem back and loving myself.

Ask Yourself…

What does self-care mean to you? How have you pulled yourself back up from the depths of depression? How do you show yourself, love?

If you want to get in touch then please leave a comment below or get in touch via social media. If you aren’t subscribed to my blog already then get signed up so you don’t miss any post’s. Please also Share. Sharing is caring.

Sam.

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Love Thy Self

When I was younger I was very self-confident. I loved my body and myself and all that entailed. There wasn’t a part of me that I disliked. However, as I have got older and certainly since I have had my two children I can’t stand the sight of myself in the mirror. What an Incredibly sad thing to admit!

I Feel Like My Body Has Failed Me…

This isn’t something I like to admit to myself let alone anyone else. My body has been through so much these last 5 years that it really is a miracle that I write this with 2 beautiful children to call my own.

I feel like it has failed me because I had to go through two painful pregnancy losses to get there. One of which almost cost me my life. For this, I feel like it has failed me. I know this is a stupid thought but anyone who has been through the same experience would/will probably feel the same. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my body and what I can do. I know there are people in the world that would do anything for my body, for their body to be able to move the way my body can. To be able to breathe by themselves and not with the help of a machine.

I Must Make A Change….

Since I had my daughter I have become very aware of how I talk about myself and what she will grow up hearing. Every girl should have a role model, someone, to look up to and I want to be Rae’s. She will grow up in a would of Social Media and Body Shaming and I don’t want her to feel about her body and self-image like I do about mine. (I have a separate post coming up about being Rae’s role model so keep your eyes open for that one.)

For me making a change isn’t just a mental change, although for me combatting the mental side will help massively but it is also a physical change. When my Father-in-law died both myself and my husband both said we wanted to get fit and healthy, Which we did, we jumped in head first. However, once I went back to work and Logan started pre-school 4 days a week, it became harder to work out. Until not working out became the new normal again. I have a week off in which I want to get back in the habit of working out. Whether that be morning/evening or during the day while Logan is at preschool.

I want to reward my body with feeling good inside and out, making time to work out and get the feel-good hormones flowing. I’m not saying it will be easy or that I won’t have any setbacks. What is important is that I keep working at it and don’t give up.

I’m tired of hating my body and myself. It is time to start loving myself and accepting that having children has changed my body and that’s ok. I need to Love my new body and what it has given me.

This was Pre-Children.

This is Post Children

There aren’t many post children photos of me and my body.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts.

If you would like to get in touch please do you can via the Comments below and on social media.

Sam

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From Flab To Fab:- I Got a Fitbit Charge 2!

So the other week Amazon had their “Prime Amazon Day”, now if you don’t know what that is. It was a day where Amazon put on major sales on some of their products for Amazon prime members. My husband and I are members. We decided to make the most of it and bought each other a Fitbit Charge 2 as an early anniversary and birthday presents.  My husband got one in blue and I got mine in plum. 

I wanted one for a number of reasons really. I’ve got quite lazy and despite having a 3year old and a 7-month-old baby I had become a bit of a hermit in that I rarely went out it’s them without my husband. So I want a reminder to get up and move/walk/be active in general. I also wanted to track my sleep because, despite the kids going through more than they don’t, I have been waking up dog tired.

After A Week…

I’m already seeing a difference, is it novelty or is it doing its job? I’d like to think it’s doing what I bought it for, to act as a reminder and to make me more active.

It’s also helping with the sleep too. I have a reminder set every day to remind me to head up to bed and since then I’ve been averaging about 7 hours sleep give or take.

Walking More…

We’ve also been making an effort to go for more walks together as a family. This has been both in the evening and at lunch times.

We’re really lucky that we have a trust nature park right on our door step, and this time of year it’s lovely to walk around. The most I have walked in a day is 20,619 steps.

Not Just Walking…

The Fitbit I have is not just for tracking walking, it also allows me to track my other workout/exercises. Since having the Fitbit I have got back into Yoga. And to be honest I forgot how much I love it.

It is fantastic after doing a lot of walking to stretch out your muscles. I find it very calming and after a yoga practice I feel very relaxed and chilled out. I’m going to aim to practice yoga every day. I have found since starting it up again I have found muscles that I never knew I had, It’s a wonderful feeling. I love feeling achy after working out, I know that I have worked my body and it is thanking me.

If you missed the first instalment of From Flab To Fab then go check it out.

Sam

 

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From Flab To Fab:- 30 Something And Overweight, It’s Time To Get Fit And Healthy!

I’ve never been a fitness junkie and I never spent my youth and early 20’s being overweight with working on my feet all day. But once I hit my mid 20’s and started an office job the weight crept on. Then the last 3 years has seen me have two babies.

Where Does This Leave Me?

Overweight with a very jelly belly feeling unhappy and uncomfortable with my appearance. So I started to workout but it was hard to get into a routine and feel motivated. My husband wasn’t that interested and had little to no motivation. But when March saw the passing of my father-in-law after a long battle with Cancer, both myself and my husband said enough was enough we had to change, our lifestyle had to change not just for us but for each other and our children. I want to learn to feel happy and comfortable in my skin, I want to love myself.

In A World Filled With Social Media…

It is easy to compare yourself to others and to celebrities since the arrival of Social Media. Having a daughter has made me realise how important it is for her to grow up knowing what is in social media, in magazines, the tv and the internet of celeb bodies are not always realistic. Beauty isn’t about being stick thin. I want her to be healthy and love her body whatever shape/form that comes in. I want her to grow up loving exercise and to love moving her body. To feel empowered, to be strong and healthy. I want to exercise and a healthy lifestyle to be the norm. I don’t want her going on some crazy diet to lose 10lbs because some celeb is doing it.

My Plan…

I plan to workout a minimum of 3 times a week, I want to do a combination of HIIT and kettlebell workouts. This is so that I can burn fat and build muscle quicker. I love both these types of exercises so they never feel like a chore. It’s the fitting it in that is the hard part especially with two young children although occasionally Logan likes to join in.

As for my diet, I’m not going to completely deprive myself of life little pleasures like chocolate etc. But I will dramatically reduce how much I’m eating them. Life is far too short to not enjoy the little pleasures. On the whole, I won’t cut anything out but reduce how much I have of the not so good stuff. My Water intake is slowly increasing but will be aiming for 2 litres a day.

From Flab To Fab…

This will be a health and fitness series that will run while I’m on my weight loss/ fitness journey. After that, I may have to alter it slightly but we shall see.

I’m hoping you will follow me on this journey so make sure you follow me on Social Media and WordPress so that you don’t miss a post. These will be weekly post’s to help keep me on track.

Sam

 

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I’m Not Comfortable With My Post Baby Body!

I’m not comfortable with my post baby body and that’s really sad. My body has achieved such an incredible task, twice. My body has been through a lot over last 5 years. It has been through emergency surgery to remove my right fallopian tube and stop internal bleeding. It has been through a miscarriage, it has been through an emergency C-Section to deliver my son and it has been through a VBAC to bring my daughter into the world.

It’s Amazing…

My Body is amazing for what it has been through and I do believe what doesn’t kill makes you stronger. But I hate how it looks, I know that is really shallow but I do I hate it.

I Want To Love My Body But I Can’t…

I really do want to love my body but I can’t, I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t see a body that I love or even like. What really upset’s me is that I now have a daughter, a daughter that I don’t want to grow up hating her body or to have any hang ups. But I can I teach her to love herself and her body if I can’t love mine?

I’m Doing It For Myself, My Husband And My Kids…

I’m forever reading that if you’re going to get fit and healthy then you shouldn’t do it for anyone else but yourself. Well not me I’m doing it for myself, my husband and my kids. Because I want to be around for a long time. My body is over weight by about 4 stone. So I want to get fit and healthy and hopefully, in the process learn to love my body. The area I hate the most is my midsection, my mummy tummy, my jelly belly. I don’t know who came up with these names but they have a lot to answer for.

I’m Taking It One Step At A Time…

I’m taking the whole process one step at a time, I’m making changes, Slow steady changes that I can build into my everyday life. My Diet is much better than it has been. Yes, I still slip up but I’m human and life is way to short to eat like a rabbit all day every day. Plus I love food way too much.

As for exercise, I’m getting back into it again slowly. With my Son’s 3rd birthday at the beginning of June and a weekend away after that to Cardiff. I fell out of the habit. But yesterday I did a kettlebell workout, the first in about 4 weeks.

Coming Soon…

To help keep me motivated and on the get fit and healthy waggon I am going to start a little series documenting my progress. So please make sure you sign up so that you don’t miss a post.

This is me on my honeymoon in Turkey September 2011. Here I weighed around 10 Stone

This is me Pregnant with Rae, I was about 36 weeks pregnant. Exactly one month before Rae was born

This is me 4 weeks ago and yesterday. I was expecting it to be worse with birthday food and no exercise, but you can see my tummy has pulled in a bit.

 

So with that, all I will say is subscribe and watch this space.

Sam

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I Lost The Old Me Somewhere Along The Way!

I’m a very different person to the young woman, the old me I was 8years ago. My husband and I have known each other since we were 11 but we didn’t start dating till 2009. We had been friends and our relationship had developed from there.

Fun Loving…

One of the things my husband loved about me back then was that I was so fun loving, up for a laugh and enjoyed taking the mickey as much as he did. He used to say I was the female version of him. Over the years I have slowly lost myself. No, this is not because of my husband but more because of events that have happened in the last 8 years. In the space of a couple of years, I had an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in it rupturing, and losing my right tube and receiving a blood transfusion. This was followed by a miscarriage.

Finally…

After the miscarriage, I finally got pregnant with my son. However, the two previous pregnancy losses had had a profound effect on me. I took them quite badly and blamed myself a lot for the losses. At the time I could talk about them to a certain degree but now I find that time in my life quite painful and difficult to talk about. My pregnancies with my son and daughter were filled with anxiety and worry for the first 12 weeks. But this quickly changed. With the exception of my pregnancy with Rae which had complications for a while.

A Natural Worrier…

I’ve always been a natural worrier but it has been worse lately as has my anxiety. It’s something that I struggle with on a regular basis. I find it crops up at time’s when I use to be confident and out-going. But lately, I’m more stressed out and anxious. Some days I feel like I’m a shell of the old me.

Self-Body Image…

I’ve never been a regular fitness junkie or conscious healthy eater but I never had a bad figure. I was a healthy size 10-12, I loved wearing makeup, I wore it every day whether I was going out or not. My hair was my thing, it had to be perfect. But as I have got older and had Kid’s I don’t care about them as much. I think it’s from not having the same time I use to have and also not caring what everyone else thinks.

However, I also think being this way has also played part in myself not being happy with how I look. Baby weight, short hair that while is quick and easy is contributing to how I feel. These are things I want to change and am in the process of changing.

To End…

I am a work in progress and I hope I can find my way back to the old me and be happier.

 

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