I Begin Here

My Path To Self Discovery, & Everything In-Between

Author: Sam Kersley (Page 1 of 2)

Stripping My Hair Colour And Starting Again!

I have been dying my hair off and on over the years since I was around 15. A couple of years ago I stripped my hair of hair dye and product build up because every time I dyed my hair the ends just looked very dark/black.

Why Stripped My Hair Colour?…

I bought some hair dye the other day and needless to say, the results where not what I had intended. I don’t know if it was a reaction or if it was the wrong colour put in the box. But I didn’t like the results. So I turn to a product I have used before and have had fantastic results.

The product is called Colour B4 Hair Colour Remover Extra Strength. This product is designed for dark hair colours.

 This is my hair colour before I use the Colour Remover. If you have never used this product before, you need to know that the results are all dependant on how you have coloured your hair previously. Therefore it is highly recommended that you read up on the product before using it.

In my case I have over the last year that I have been growing my hair out, have dyed it red, chocolate browns and black. All of these have had red colouring/undertones in it. If you are not aware Red Dye WILL likely stain your hair cuticle.

The Process And The Results…

This product instructs you to leave it on your hair for 1 hour to allow it time to break down the dye particles. Because I have used this product before and have done research the first time, so I knew what to expect.

While the product is doing its thing you have to cover your hair with Clingfilm to allow it to generate heat so that the hair cuticles open up allowing for better results.

 For me personally, I put 3-4 layers of clingfilm on to help my head build up more heat. Unlike hair dye, you won’t see a change in the colour of your hair until you start the rinsing.

I will say that this is a long process with several steps that require being followed to the letter, So you do need to make sure you have the time to complete it properly. After the hour you rinse you hair for 5 minutes then you add the buffer for a minute. Then you rinse for another 5 minutes followed by a second buffer followed by a final 5-minute rinse.

Then you are left with the results….for me, that’s Orange/ginger hair  

Now, in all honesty, it isn’t as bad as some people have. I didn’t dislike the colour but it also looked ridiculous on myself.

The Final Results…

So I tend to leave my hair a few hours after stripping it before dying it just so that it can settle and to make sure it isn’t going to oxidize after finishing the process. I will say that this process does make your hair more porous and it is advised that if you are going to redye your hair to only use semi-permanent hair dye and do not process for the full time.

 This is the result of using a semi-permanent hair dye in the colour light brown and as you can see it is darker than light brown. This is because after stripping it your hair will take the dye more quickly.  But I am happy with the results. I also know that the colour will settle down over the next few days.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not an expert or a Hair colourist specialist or a trained hairdresser, the information in this post is based on the instructions provided by the product and my own experience. Therefore I will not be responsible for any results should you choose to strip your own hair at home.

If you want to get in touch then please leave a comment below or get in touch via social media. If you aren’t subscribed to my blog already then get signed up so you don’t miss any post’s. Please also Share. Sharing is caring.

Sam.

 

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What Does Self-Care Mean To Me?

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media about self-care and mental health. So I wanted to sit down and think about what that means to me. Years ago if I asked myself what self-care meant to me, I probably would’ve said that it was about ‘Me Time’. Having a soak in the bath or painting my nails.

But Now…

It means so much more than that to me. While self is still about those things, I now have a deeper understanding that Self-care is also about your wellbeing you mental and emotional health, your physical health.

I Had To Learn The Hard Way…

For me being diagnosed with Depression was a wake-up call. I had to look after myself. I’ve always been good at looking after my husband and the kids. I always put them first and I always will. But now I know that I HAVE TO put time aside for myself, to look after myself. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have it all figured out yet and I’m still trying to look after myself. But I am doing a much better job of it.

So How Am I Going To Do This?…

Through lots of self-reflecting and taking stock of my life and my attitude to myself. I’m changing how I approach things. For example:- I used to feel guilty if I had a takeaway or something sweet. While I’d enjoy it at the time I would come down on myself for allowing…Well no more, Life is too short to be angry especially at your self so I will enjoy life’s treats. But I also know that in turn, I need to look after myself physically, which means working out and making it a part of my routine. No more excuses ( I am planning on doing a separate post about this but not sure when as I’m currently full of cold). I need to look after myself physically so that I am fit and healthy to be able to enjoy time with my children and to make sure I am around for them for a long time to come.

But What About Mental And Emotional Health?…

My mental and emotional health have taken a battering for several months. For months I have been trying to get these back on track. I also know it will be something that I will need to work on for the rest of my life. But I’m happy with that. I have been so mean to myself for years that I just need to accept who I am and accept my body has changed after having two children, to love myself completely. Last night for the first time I tried the Headspace app. I can honestly say, it is the best meditation app that I have tried. I hoping that this will become part of my evening/bedtime routine. It really helped me to clear my mind. Which is a problem I have, I let things build up in my head until there’s no room and it bubbles over with negative results. But I talk a lot more to my husband about how I’m feeling whether it is a good day or a bad day. I don’t let myself feel guilty if I need to have a good cry or even a good laugh because both are good for me they keep the balance.

 I Shared this image recently on Instagram. I’m putting it in this post because when I look at it, I see a woman who is happy in her skin. Who feels comfortable taking a picture with only mascara and brow gel on and no filter on it. THIS IS ME! getting my self-esteem back and loving myself.

Ask Yourself…

What does self-care mean to you? How have you pulled yourself back up from the depths of depression? How do you show yourself, love?

If you want to get in touch then please leave a comment below or get in touch via social media. If you aren’t subscribed to my blog already then get signed up so you don’t miss any post’s. Please also Share. Sharing is caring.

Sam.

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Learning To Be Positive Again And Moving Forward!

I recently shared with you all that I have been dealing with depression, and that I have recently completed my therapy.

How Therapy Helped…

Therapy really helped me to understand, that everything I was putting off doing or didn’t feel capable of doing was in fact just in my head. It helped to understand that by putting a plan in place and starting off with small jobs, then it wasn’t so daunting. Since then I have progressed to doing bigger tasks. I’m still not fully back to my old routine but I’m getting there.

Positivity Breeds Positivity…

With the help of therapy and the help of my antidepressants my positivity towards life and everything in between has come on in leaps and bounds.

I’m a natural worrier and have had anxiety for the 10 years or so. But lately the last month or so I have been feeling so great. I haven’t had a panic attack or anxiety attack since the end of last year. It really makes me feel good. I feel like I am capable and more like my old self, I don’t feel guilty for no reason I more chilled out and it has inturned improved things between Myself and Matt.

Making Changes One Day At A Time…

While Things are going great I’m still on antidepressant’s and will be for another 3 months-ish. I’m very much aware that While I’m currently in a good place the depression could come back at any time. So I take it one day at a time. I try to do a few jobs each day around the house but if it’s not a great day for whatever the reason. Whether it is the children or I’ve had a bad night sleep etc. I don’t stress about it. I just remind myself that tomorrow is another day and another opportunity for me to try again.

One of the changes that I want to build back into my routine is exercise. This has always really helped with my mental health in the past. For me, it’s a great way to release frustration and stress and allows me to clear my head of thoughts. Don’t get me wrong I’m not claiming to be a fitness fanatic, but once I get into the routine of doing it I enjoy it.

I have also upped my water intake. But still not where I want it to be. But one day at a time, right?

My diet still needs some major improvements but it is better than it has been, there haven’t been as many takeaways, but there are still probably a few too many. I know I will get there it’s just going to take some time and patience.

Moving Forward…

I know I’ll never be 100% the same person I was 10+ years ago but I am definitely on my way to becoming more like my old self. I feel like I have been given the tools to recognize the warning signs and how to deal with it and what I need to do to maintain the positivity. Don’t get me wrong I know it’s not going to be easy every day, and some days will be a lot harder than others. But what I have learned is how I deal with things and how I choose to look at my life and the situations I’m faced with in my day to day life.

Please feel free to get in touch either below in the comments or via Social Media. Please follow the blog if you enjoyed the post and don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out on future post’s.

Sam

 

 

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Admitting I Needed Help…. My Depression

I Needed To Take a Break…

It’s been a while since I posted anything on here. I needed to take a break, to step back from everything and look after myself. Over the last few months, I have been dealing with severe depression and have been getting help in the form of CBT therapy and antidepressants.

The Stigma…

To be honest I’m not entirely sure how I feel about sharing my story, my experience with the internet world. But I have to ask myself is it because there is a stigma with depression, that it’s seen as an ugly word that shouldn’t be spoken about. Or because I’m scared of what people will think. The thing is, we/I shouldn’t care. This is my life and my mental health, and if talking about it helps me, or someone else then great.

Where To Start?…

I want to be honest, I have no clue where to start, I feel anxious and emotional at the thought of sharing my experience with depression. As I’m sat here I keep wanting to delete everything, to hide the truth, BUT I need to do this. I NEED to do this for me. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning.

9th November 2017…

This is the day I got help… I few days before this, I got home one evening from work and found Matt confronting me. Being brutally honest with me about my behavior over the last several months. He pointed out how my behavior had started to affect the kids that they were noticing. Mine and Matt’s relationship was in a bad place. I had raging temper tantrums. I wasn’t myself. The way I screamed and shouted at everyone including the kids, it was awful. I was awful and looking back I feel ashamed of myself. I hope the kids are young enough not to remember the dark period in my life when they are older. There I sat in tears listening to Matt, knowing everything he was saying was true, I was ill and I NEEDED help.

While I knew I needed help I was scared and my anxiety was through the roof. I was scared of admitting to anyone that wasn’t myself or Matt. Getting help and telling someone I needed help would make it real and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.

The Doctors office…

I sat in the Doctors office with Matt scared and panicked. I started to speak and the tears came and came. As I sat there crying my eyes out Matt took the lead. As he started to explain I felt calm enough to stop crying and then I found my strength to speak.

We discussed therapy and medication and I’ll admit medication wasn’t something I was that keen on so I left the Doctors office with a couple of numbers for a self referral. I knew that everything had changed.

Antidepressants…

Two weeks later I was on the phone again in tears, struggling to cope, I was on a waiting list for CBT and was told it could be 3 months. My behavior was getting worse so I told the Dr that I wanted to get on medication to help get me through. So I’m currently on 20mg Citalopram a day and that has helped me no end.

Behavioural Activation Therapy…

After I started the medication I started to receive my therapy in the form of Behavioural Activation Therapy designed to get you back on track and back to your old routine. Its aim is to ease you back into everything slowly.

I have to say I found this type of therapy really helpful and combined with the medication I took to it like a duck to water so to speak. So much so I was discharged after 3 sessions.

I’m still getting back into my old routine but I am making progress.

What Depression Felt Like For Me…

Depression feels different for everyone who suffers from it. And for those who have never had depression cannot understand how it feels you just can’t simply snap out of it.

For me Depression felt like I had these heavy chain weighing my body down, pulling me down. It felt like I was in another existence/ alternate side of the world. Where I could see everyone living their life going about their business and I was there watching on invisible and lonely. Everything felt dark around me and any slight bit of happiness I instantly felt guilty and withdrew more.

I wasn’t sleeping well and I was overeating. I could only find joy in my children but felt guilty. They kept me functioning.

Today…

Today I’m in a better place a happier place. Don’t get me wrong I have low days but I don’t feel weighed down and I no longer feel like I’m in the dark. I see light around me and I don’t feel invisible. I feel connected to the world around me.

Have you ever suffered from depression? Are you suffering from depression? If you want to get in touch I’d love to hear from you.

Please share my story/ experience with the people you know. Mental health is a huge thing and we need to talk about it more openly. You’d be surprised by how many people suffer in silence.

Until next time

Sam

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Love Thy Self

When I was younger I was very self-confident. I loved my body and myself and all that entailed. There wasn’t a part of me that I disliked. However, as I have got older and certainly since I have had my two children I can’t stand the sight of myself in the mirror. What an Incredibly sad thing to admit!

I Feel Like My Body Has Failed Me…

This isn’t something I like to admit to myself let alone anyone else. My body has been through so much these last 5 years that it really is a miracle that I write this with 2 beautiful children to call my own.

I feel like it has failed me because I had to go through two painful pregnancy losses to get there. One of which almost cost me my life. For this, I feel like it has failed me. I know this is a stupid thought but anyone who has been through the same experience would/will probably feel the same. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my body and what I can do. I know there are people in the world that would do anything for my body, for their body to be able to move the way my body can. To be able to breathe by themselves and not with the help of a machine.

I Must Make A Change….

Since I had my daughter I have become very aware of how I talk about myself and what she will grow up hearing. Every girl should have a role model, someone, to look up to and I want to be Rae’s. She will grow up in a would of Social Media and Body Shaming and I don’t want her to feel about her body and self-image like I do about mine. (I have a separate post coming up about being Rae’s role model so keep your eyes open for that one.)

For me making a change isn’t just a mental change, although for me combatting the mental side will help massively but it is also a physical change. When my Father-in-law died both myself and my husband both said we wanted to get fit and healthy, Which we did, we jumped in head first. However, once I went back to work and Logan started pre-school 4 days a week, it became harder to work out. Until not working out became the new normal again. I have a week off in which I want to get back in the habit of working out. Whether that be morning/evening or during the day while Logan is at preschool.

I want to reward my body with feeling good inside and out, making time to work out and get the feel-good hormones flowing. I’m not saying it will be easy or that I won’t have any setbacks. What is important is that I keep working at it and don’t give up.

I’m tired of hating my body and myself. It is time to start loving myself and accepting that having children has changed my body and that’s ok. I need to Love my new body and what it has given me.

This was Pre-Children.

This is Post Children

There aren’t many post children photos of me and my body.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts.

If you would like to get in touch please do you can via the Comments below and on social media.

Sam

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Growing Out My Pixie Haircut – Update!

So you may remember back in June I did a post about growing out my pixie cute.

I originally said I would be doing monthly updates…Well, my apologies as that has not happened. I have had a lot going on in the last few months.

So where is my hair at now?

Well, it is definitely longer than what it was back in June. We are almost at the bob length stage. Hopefully, come December/January we will be sporting a bob.

 Not the most flattering side profile but for the purpose of the update you get the idea of its current length.

So What Have I Been Doing To Help It Grow?

I only trim the neck and take some of the weight out as and when I need to so there are regular trims going on. To condition my hair I have been using a Coconut oil spray on it when it is damp before I blow dry and sometime once I have styled it as I get a few flyaways.

I am at a point where I do need to blow dry and straighten my hair. This isn’t great for growing out short hair but needs must and all that. This is partly why I use the coconut oil spray to help condition my hair and reduce heat damage. I do wash my hair daily which I know you’re not supposed to but I do. The upside to this is your scalp is massaged every day which helps to promote hair growth.

How Long Am I Growing My Hair?

I am aiming to grow my hair past my shoulders This was taken back in the spring of 2010.

So this is the ultimate goal of where I want my hair to end up. It has been a long while since I have had proper long hair and I miss it.

So that’s it for this update, it was just a quick post to say. This is where my hair is at a few months into the growing out process.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts.

If you would like to get in touch please do you can via the Comments below and on social media.

Sam

 

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I’ve Been Adjusting

It’s been a little quiet here lately and I’ll explain why….I’ve been adjusting. I went back to work from maternity leave mid-August. I work mostly evenings so I don’t normally get home until around 9 pm. By which point I’m just too tired to blog.

Logan has gone back to Preschool. This year he is doing four +full days so this has been an adjustment for him. With so much change going on I wanted to have a break from all of it, blogging, studying. I feel now though that it is time to get back on the horse so to speak. So here I am. Ready to catch up with you all.

I’ve a few things lined up for the blog…

  1. Update on growing out my Pixie
  2. From Flab To Fab update
  3. I’m going to be talking about being a role model for my daughter
  4. I’ll also be talking about loving myself

These are just a taster of what I planned.

If there is anything you want me to discuss or share an opinion on, then please let me know. I’m more than happy to chat/write about particular topics. If you’d like to see more mental health posts let me know or more body confidence/self-confidence posts again please let me know and I will get a post out on the topic.

If you’re new to the blog and not sure what the blog is about or what I’m about then you definitely need to read my introduction post

There we have it. This was just a quick post to say, I’m still here and where I’ve been and what to expect coming soon on the blog.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts.

If you would like to get in touch please do you can via the Comments below and on social media.

Sam

 

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Getting Out Of My Head:- Anxiety And Panic Attacks!

I’ve always been open and honest about suffering from Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Unfortunately is it not a topic that is talked about enough, this is also true for all mental health issues. But I want to talk about Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

I Didn’t Always Suffer…

I didn’t always suffer from Anxiety or Panic Attacks. It started around 2008/2009 with my previous relationship. I didn’t realise it at the time but the relationship I was in was a toxic one, one of mental abuse. At the time I didn’t see it, but when I look back I can see I was mentally abused.

My first Panic Attack was bad. My hands flooded with pins and needles and went rigid in a claw like shape. I felt dizzy and couldn’t breathe.

Since then I have only had one really bad attack when I ended up in the back of an ambulance because they weren’t sure if it was a stroke or heart attack because of my symptoms, the whole left side of my body shook uncontrollably, my speech was slurred and I couldn’t hold myself up.

Anxiety grows worse…

My Anxiety has got worse over the last few years especially since my Ectopic pregnancy, it has taken a natural worrier and has turned me into a fearful person who wants/needs to be in control to keep fear at bay. I hate this about myself, I hate that some days my anxiety controls me instead of me controlling it. Anxiety and fear have stopped me from doing things. I want to let go and be free to really enjoy the great things in life but it’s there all the time in the back of my mind.

Since having my daughter and there being more stresses at home with various things. I’m sure everyone stresses about things like money, our home is too small and not having money to move. Add to that the lack of sleep from a toddler who doesn’t always go through the night and a baby teething. All of this plays a part in my Anxiety. I don’t want you to sit there and think that I’m moaning about my life and that I should be grateful because there are people worse off. That’s not what I’m doing. I’m simply sharing what has helped to make my anxiety worse.

What Are My Triggers…

I can’t speak for everyone who suffers from Anxiety and Panic Attacks but I know what my triggers are. Some times  I am able to gain control and other times I can’t.

For me, one of my main triggers is feeling overwhelmed, and it can be about anything going on in my life. for me the only way I can describe it is like there is a fog or a storm going on inside my mind. Sometimes I have to get out of my head to beat it.

It’s Getting Harder And Harder To Control…

Over the last few weeks, I have been finding that my Anxiety is getting harder to control. Even writing this post, bearing my soul, if you like, is giving me Anxiety. It’s an incredibly personal thing to share, unfortunately, it is something that people who do not suffer from it find hard to understand and think it is an easy fix. It is not!

It’s An Uncomfortable Place To Be…

Where I am mentally at the moment is a rather uncomfortable place to be. When I look at myself and into my mind, I feel uncomfortable I feel a need to question my mental health and whether I am at a place where I need help. I have to say this part of the blog is very difficult to write. It’s emotional, it is taking a lot for me to be this honest and to lay this much out on the line. But this is in the hope of self-therapy. In the hope that writing about it and talking about it on the World Wide Web can provide a release. A weight lifted. I don;t know maybe help other people and myself not feel alone.

My husband tries to be understanding and helpful and for the most part, he is. He is a fantastic support and I’m certain if it wasn’t for him I would have a lot more Panic Attacks and be in the depths of depression by now. But there is only so much he is able to do. It ultimately falls on me.

So What Helps…

For me, there are some things that do help, Exercise being one of them. I’m not great at keeping a routine especially with two young children but I am trying. I have found Yoga helps to focus my mind. I know that sounds like a cliché, but it really does help. I love running/walking that for me is a kind of therapy with myself. It forces me to think about/process everything I have not wanted to deal with and just pushed to the back of my mind. I also find Reading a good book helps to take me away from reality and escape for a while. I like to do this before bed. It helps to relax my mind and let me drift off to sleep quicker.

I’m sorry for the long post but it is one of those topics that needs discussing.

If you suffer or suffered from Anxiety please get in touch I would love to hear your story and how you deal with it. please get in touch via the comments or social media.

Please make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss future posts. I’m sure I will post an update with how I’m doing.

Sam

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From Flab To Fab:- I Got a Fitbit Charge 2!

So the other week Amazon had their “Prime Amazon Day”, now if you don’t know what that is. It was a day where Amazon put on major sales on some of their products for Amazon prime members. My husband and I are members. We decided to make the most of it and bought each other a Fitbit Charge 2 as an early anniversary and birthday presents.  My husband got one in blue and I got mine in plum. 

I wanted one for a number of reasons really. I’ve got quite lazy and despite having a 3year old and a 7-month-old baby I had become a bit of a hermit in that I rarely went out it’s them without my husband. So I want a reminder to get up and move/walk/be active in general. I also wanted to track my sleep because, despite the kids going through more than they don’t, I have been waking up dog tired.

After A Week…

I’m already seeing a difference, is it novelty or is it doing its job? I’d like to think it’s doing what I bought it for, to act as a reminder and to make me more active.

It’s also helping with the sleep too. I have a reminder set every day to remind me to head up to bed and since then I’ve been averaging about 7 hours sleep give or take.

Walking More…

We’ve also been making an effort to go for more walks together as a family. This has been both in the evening and at lunch times.

We’re really lucky that we have a trust nature park right on our door step, and this time of year it’s lovely to walk around. The most I have walked in a day is 20,619 steps.

Not Just Walking…

The Fitbit I have is not just for tracking walking, it also allows me to track my other workout/exercises. Since having the Fitbit I have got back into Yoga. And to be honest I forgot how much I love it.

It is fantastic after doing a lot of walking to stretch out your muscles. I find it very calming and after a yoga practice I feel very relaxed and chilled out. I’m going to aim to practice yoga every day. I have found since starting it up again I have found muscles that I never knew I had, It’s a wonderful feeling. I love feeling achy after working out, I know that I have worked my body and it is thanking me.

If you missed the first instalment of From Flab To Fab then go check it out.

Sam

 

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Pregnancy Losses: 5 Years On I’m Still Affected By It! 

This month marks the 5 year anniversary from my first pregnancy loss, an ectopic pregnancy misdiagnosed as a miscarriage that then ruptured, resulting in internal bleeding and emergency surgery. 8 months later I had a miscarriage. The result of these pregnancy losses still affects me greatly.

Mental And Emotional Pain Is Real….

I find it harder to talk about now then I did at the time. It took a week for the ectopic pregnancy and my near death to hit me. To say I was a wreck is an understatement, I thought that was it for kids. I found talking to anyone who’d listen helped. I read about it, watched videos about it and started researching my chance of having kids and alternatives. It was the only way I could deal with it. However talking about it now is painful, more because it is a part of my life that isn’t great. It’s like a black cloud in my mind, in my memory. A memory I don’t want to remember but one that I must.

Pregnant For A Second Time…

After the ectopic pregnancy, it took my body a while to adjust to having my right tube moved, the pregnancy had ripped it open causing severe internal bleeding. A month or so later after the operation, I felt ready to try again.

I remember knowing I was pregnant but had doubt in my mind, we had few a false alarm’s due to my body adjusting. But when the test showed positive I dropped to the floor shaking a remember sending my husband a photo asking him if I was imaging it. I was so scared that I would lose the baby I couldn’t enjoy it.

It’s Happening Again…

I remember hitting the 8-9 week mark and the bleeding starting again. My heart sank I knew I was losing the baby. We had an early scan, it showed the baby in the womb and had a heartbeat, however it was measuring small. All we could do was wait and see. The pain is still there in my mind, the waves of pain and so much blood. My body trying to expel the fetus. The trip to A&E meant they removed it for me and gave me strong painkillers I was then sent on my way.

Was It Me Or Just Bad Luck…

My husband says we were just incredibly unlucky, he said for a while that maybe we couldn’t have girls. After the second miscarriage, I blamed myself more than ever, I still do. I will never know if I was the reason for the losses or if it was just bad luck and I happened to be the 1 in 4 for the miscarriage and the 1 in 80-90 with the ectopic.

There isn’t a day, week, or month that goes by where I don’t think about them. Sat here writing this I fight to hold back the tears. With each loss, I definitely lost a piece of myself. I don’t have the same carefree spirit I once had, much of my “sparkle” has gone. My anxiety is much worse and over more things, simple things. It is a constant battle and one that I try to manage without medication because that is not a path I wish to walk down.

If I’m being totally honest I try to hide my anxiety or had bad it is some days from the people I love because it’s how I best deal with it. I don’t want it to be another thing for my husband to worry about. He is my rock, we have shared some insanely hard times together and we’ve always come out the other side stronger.

I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Be Over It…

Everyone deals with pregnancy loss in their own way, for me, it isn’t something I’ll ever be over. They were a part of me and their gone. I know I am incredibly lucky to have 2 beautiful healthy happy children now. Logan, My rainbow baby turned 3 last month and Rae my Baby girl whose almost 7 months old.

I’m still 5 years on trying to figure out how to process dealing with it. Most of the time I bury it in the back of my mind. But I am hoping one day I will find it easier to talk openly about it again.

It is a subject that is not talked about enough and one that should be. Know this where pregnancy loss is concerned, you ARE NEVER alone. Ever!

If you have suffered a pregnancy loss and just want an ear, Then I am here.

Sam

 

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