I Begin Here

My Path To Self Discovery

Month: July 2017

From Flab To Fab:- I Got a Fitbit Charge 2!

So the other week Amazon had their “Prime Amazon Day”, now if you don’t know what that is. It was a day where Amazon put on major sales on some of their products for Amazon prime members. My husband and I are members. We decided to make the most of it and bought each other a Fitbit Charge 2 as an early anniversary and birthday presents.  My husband got one in blue and I got mine in plum. 

I wanted one for a number of reasons really. I’ve got quite lazy and despite having a 3year old and a 7-month-old baby I had become a bit of a hermit in that I rarely went out it’s them without my husband. So I want a reminder to get up and move/walk/be active in general. I also wanted to track my sleep because, despite the kids going through more than they don’t, I have been waking up dog tired.

After A Week…

I’m already seeing a difference, is it novelty or is it doing its job? I’d like to think it’s doing what I bought it for, to act as a reminder and to make me more active.

It’s also helping with the sleep too. I have a reminder set every day to remind me to head up to bed and since then I’ve been averaging about 7 hours sleep give or take.

Walking More…

We’ve also been making an effort to go for more walks together as a family. This has been both in the evening and at lunch times.

We’re really lucky that we have a trust nature park right on our door step, and this time of year it’s lovely to walk around. The most I have walked in a day is 20,619 steps.

Not Just Walking…

The Fitbit I have is not just for tracking walking, it also allows me to track my other workout/exercises. Since having the Fitbit I have got back into Yoga. And to be honest I forgot how much I love it.

It is fantastic after doing a lot of walking to stretch out your muscles. I find it very calming and after a yoga practice I feel very relaxed and chilled out. I’m going to aim to practice yoga every day. I have found since starting it up again I have found muscles that I never knew I had, It’s a wonderful feeling. I love feeling achy after working out, I know that I have worked my body and it is thanking me.

If you missed the first instalment of From Flab To Fab then go check it out.

Sam

 

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Pregnancy Losses: 5 Years On I’m Still Affected By It! 

This month marks the 5 year anniversary from my first pregnancy loss, an ectopic pregnancy misdiagnosed as a miscarriage that then ruptured, resulting in internal bleeding and emergency surgery. 8 months later I had a miscarriage. The result of these pregnancy losses still affects me greatly.

Mental And Emotional Pain Is Real….

I find it harder to talk about now then I did at the time. It took a week for the ectopic pregnancy and my near death to hit me. To say I was a wreck is an understatement, I thought that was it for kids. I found talking to anyone who’d listen helped. I read about it, watched videos about it and started researching my chance of having kids and alternatives. It was the only way I could deal with it. However talking about it now is painful, more because it is a part of my life that isn’t great. It’s like a black cloud in my mind, in my memory. A memory I don’t want to remember but one that I must.

Pregnant For A Second Time…

After the ectopic pregnancy, it took my body a while to adjust to having my right tube moved, the pregnancy had ripped it open causing severe internal bleeding. A month or so later after the operation, I felt ready to try again.

I remember knowing I was pregnant but had doubt in my mind, we had few a false alarm’s due to my body adjusting. But when the test showed positive I dropped to the floor shaking a remember sending my husband a photo asking him if I was imaging it. I was so scared that I would lose the baby I couldn’t enjoy it.

It’s Happening Again…

I remember hitting the 8-9 week mark and the bleeding starting again. My heart sank I knew I was losing the baby. We had an early scan, it showed the baby in the womb and had a heartbeat, however it was measuring small. All we could do was wait and see. The pain is still there in my mind, the waves of pain and so much blood. My body trying to expel the fetus. The trip to A&E meant they removed it for me and gave me strong painkillers I was then sent on my way.

Was It Me Or Just Bad Luck…

My husband says we were just incredibly unlucky, he said for a while that maybe we couldn’t have girls. After the second miscarriage, I blamed myself more than ever, I still do. I will never know if I was the reason for the losses or if it was just bad luck and I happened to be the 1 in 4 for the miscarriage and the 1 in 80-90 with the ectopic.

There isn’t a day, week, or month that goes by where I don’t think about them. Sat here writing this I fight to hold back the tears. With each loss, I definitely lost a piece of myself. I don’t have the same carefree spirit I once had, much of my “sparkle” has gone. My anxiety is much worse and over more things, simple things. It is a constant battle and one that I try to manage without medication because that is not a path I wish to walk down.

If I’m being totally honest I try to hide my anxiety or had bad it is some days from the people I love because it’s how I best deal with it. I don’t want it to be another thing for my husband to worry about. He is my rock, we have shared some insanely hard times together and we’ve always come out the other side stronger.

I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Be Over It…

Everyone deals with pregnancy loss in their own way, for me, it isn’t something I’ll ever be over. They were a part of me and their gone. I know I am incredibly lucky to have 2 beautiful healthy happy children now. Logan, My rainbow baby turned 3 last month and Rae my Baby girl whose almost 7 months old.

I’m still 5 years on trying to figure out how to process dealing with it. Most of the time I bury it in the back of my mind. But I am hoping one day I will find it easier to talk openly about it again.

It is a subject that is not talked about enough and one that should be. Know this where pregnancy loss is concerned, you ARE NEVER alone. Ever!

If you have suffered a pregnancy loss and just want an ear, Then I am here.

Sam

 

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From Flab To Fab:- 30 Something And Overweight, It’s Time To Get Fit And Healthy!

I’ve never been a fitness junkie and I never spent my youth and early 20’s being overweight with working on my feet all day. But once I hit my mid 20’s and started an office job the weight crept on. Then the last 3 years has seen me have two babies.

Where Does This Leave Me?

Overweight with a very jelly belly feeling unhappy and uncomfortable with my appearance. So I started to workout but it was hard to get into a routine and feel motivated. My husband wasn’t that interested and had little to no motivation. But when March saw the passing of my father-in-law after a long battle with Cancer, both myself and my husband said enough was enough we had to change, our lifestyle had to change not just for us but for each other and our children. I want to learn to feel happy and comfortable in my skin, I want to love myself.

In A World Filled With Social Media…

It is easy to compare yourself to others and to celebrities since the arrival of Social Media. Having a daughter has made me realise how important it is for her to grow up knowing what is in social media, in magazines, the tv and the internet of celeb bodies are not always realistic. Beauty isn’t about being stick thin. I want her to be healthy and love her body whatever shape/form that comes in. I want her to grow up loving exercise and to love moving her body. To feel empowered, to be strong and healthy. I want to exercise and a healthy lifestyle to be the norm. I don’t want her going on some crazy diet to lose 10lbs because some celeb is doing it.

My Plan…

I plan to workout a minimum of 3 times a week, I want to do a combination of HIIT and kettlebell workouts. This is so that I can burn fat and build muscle quicker. I love both these types of exercises so they never feel like a chore. It’s the fitting it in that is the hard part especially with two young children although occasionally Logan likes to join in.

As for my diet, I’m not going to completely deprive myself of life little pleasures like chocolate etc. But I will dramatically reduce how much I’m eating them. Life is far too short to not enjoy the little pleasures. On the whole, I won’t cut anything out but reduce how much I have of the not so good stuff. My Water intake is slowly increasing but will be aiming for 2 litres a day.

From Flab To Fab…

This will be a health and fitness series that will run while I’m on my weight loss/ fitness journey. After that, I may have to alter it slightly but we shall see.

I’m hoping you will follow me on this journey so make sure you follow me on Social Media and WordPress so that you don’t miss a post. These will be weekly post’s to help keep me on track.

Sam

 

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